The accordion is the unholy offspring of the reed organ and the concertina.A keyboard is connected to bellows which are folded and expanded by the players arm movements.The air of the bellows is forced to flow through reed plates, creating a potent wail which can be heard for miles.

There are three main types of accordions:The diatonic accordion is the one you might associate with Vienna around the time of the Reichsrat. It is often used in folk and dance music, but was also found in orchestral works of a highly German nature.There are many different iterations of the diatonic accordion, but all consist of a series of buttons near the right hand which produce some form of a major scale and the essential chords thereof, and a series of buttons near the left hand which produce bass notes and chords of that key.

The other two types of accordions are both chromatic accordions, which means that they can produce the sound of any note in the Western chromatic scale.The button chromatic accordion is set up very similarly to the diatonic accordion, with the large deviation being its full access to all chromatic notes and keys.This is the instrument you might associate with Russian dancing and with languid Parisian evenings, though some of the finest instruments are actually made in Italy.

The last of the three main types of accordion is the piano accordion.This has a piano keyboard of approximately 45 keys near the right hand, which allow for quick melodic flexibility.The buttons close to the left hand function in much the same way as they do in the other two types of accordions, though some models have “freebass” (note the spelling) which means that there are more octaves of reedbanks than usual and therefore also a fuller range.These instruments have gained relative popularity due to familiarity with the piano keyboard, and they are now used in diverse musical styles, whether they should be or not.

The drone of the reeds became associated with French love poetry, though how this is possible can scarcely be understood. Anyone who has ever been in the same room as a bagpipe can tell you, it is not renowned for its hushed, seductive tones.As the Saxon, Gallic and Norman forces gradually moved North, so too did their weapons of mass destruction, such as the bagpipe.

In Scotland, the Highland Pipe is known as a martial instrument, which dates back to the marriage of Marie de Guise to James V of Scotland and her effective period of French regency in the Highlands.The Highland Bagpipe has three drone pipes – two tenor and one bass – and a long blowpipe.Now, now.That is what it is called.The length of the blowpipe allows the player to hold the bag under the left arm and to maintain an erect posture. Stop laughing.This is serious stuff.Most Scottish bagpipes have chanters (the tube with key holes) that are tuned to an esoteric modal mix between G and A major.

The Swedish bagpipe is less prominent in popular culture.The Säckpipa has only one functional drone – some instruments have another, but it is only for decoration. The lineage of the instrument is not as precise as that of the Scottish pipes, though it is believed to be a traditional instrument of the same importance as the Nyckelharpa. Weirdly, the Swedish bagpipe is considerably less loud than the Scottish pipes, not that it would take much. The chanters of this pipe are tuned to a hexachordal version of a minor.

Both countries have a proud history of blowing air from bags into loud droning sticks, and we can all agree that this is best experienced from a hilltop far away.

No one wants to read that many ledger lines, and the score cannot handle that much testosterone. Like the rest of the violin family, most basses have four strings. However, the bass takes after its mother’s side and tunes those strings in fourth instead of fifths, like the gamba family. In fact, some basses have a fifth string and some are bowed underhand like a viola da gamba. It’s ok, bass. Being an iconoclast does not make you the black sheep. 

During the classical period, the bass was legislated to doubling the line played by the cello, which is how the term “double bass” was derived. Later, the bass became associated with jazz music, its pitch flexibility being more useful than the tuba’s, though both are cumbersome and annoying on public transit. Often heard playing pizzicato (plucked) walking bass lines in jazz with an accompanying slap to the fingerboard, the bass now finds itself a member of a third, adopted family: the rhythm section. Be ready, the double bass may come knocking at your door to join your family for a holiday meal, and it expects to be welcome wherever it goes.

The violoncello that is used in modern orchestras and chamber ensembles is held stable between the knees and usually has an endpin that sticks into the floor before the player. Like the viola and the violin, it has four strings, which are tuned in fifths. It is bowed with horsehair, and the sound is dark and deep in pitch, causing many people to drool and say things like “I looooove the cello…” when they see someone carrying a cello case. The cello was originally thought to sound frighteningly similar to the human voice, which helped the string family’s reputation as noble and harmonic. It is commonly compared with a woman’s body in popular culture.

Since the cello constitutes the lowest line of music that the listener hears, it provides the bedrock of the musical layers. In music before 1800, it often plays what is known as the basso continuo part, which is all the information the melodic instruments need in order to tune and fill in the upper lines of the composition. Despite being in such a low register, the cello does often have intricate and complex bow work to perform. The cello’s essential and fundamental role in music is the reason we let them stay seated even when everyone else is standing.

What is known as the modern orchestral clarinet is actually the soprano clarinet, and it follows in a long line of single reed woodwind instruments that have been championed in the history of the orchestra. This current version was developed in the early 18^th century by Johann Christoph Denner, whose goal was to create an instrument that had a higher and more serviceable range than the chalumeau, which basically has the range and versatility of a pigeon.

The single reed of the clarinet is made of cane, and looks like a chiselled tongue-depressor. Upon the application of air-flow to the mouthpiece, the reed vibrates against the tip of the wooden instrument, creating sound that travels through the shaft. Keys and holes are depressed to change the length of the tube, creating the different notes that can be heard. Most standard clarinets use the Boehm system, which is a ring and axle system that corrects inherent tuning problems that happen due to the construction of the instrument and the key structure. Standard orchestral clarinets are tuned in Bb, which means that they sound a whole tone lower than concert pitch. The sheet music is adjusted to accommodate this, because clarinettists are known to whine and roll their eyes when presented with extra work.

As well as being easy to carry around, and therefore preferred by delicate flowers, the flute has a very high range and is responsible for the melodic line of most pieces, along with the violin. The flute is played by blowing across a mouthpiece, and lengthening or shortening the tube with the depressed keys. Earlier flutes were wood and had holes – keys and the use of metal were brought in incrementally throughout the 19th century.

As we learned in the violin section, wind instruments were thought to be base, representing carnal love and violence to the humanists of the 16th century. We can’t blame this entirely on clarinets or bagpipes, though violence can surge when they are around. Flutes are just as guilty, with their flitting about, tempting shepherdesses and the like. This is not to deny the dark side of the flute. There are a great number of orchestral pieces in which the flute part is a harbinger of doom or calamity. The flute is sort of the mean girl of the music world. It can be sweet, but you don’t want to be on its bad side.

In either case, it grew to become a five-course (five-stringed) chitarra spagnuola or guiterre in 15^th Century Italy, Spain and France. At that time, it fell under the larger Italian term viola or Spanish term vihuela, which referred to any stringed instrument of that size and shape. Unlike the violin family, all of whom have f-holes which help project sound, most modern flat-topped guitars have round holes beneath the soundboard which serve the same purpose. 

Although it is now associated with the slimy poseur who thinks that anyone who spends time in a park is asking for their sonic space to be invaded with the same two chords on an endless loop, the guitar’s chordal and melodic flexibility are incredibly useful to ensemble playing. Its ability to fill in any role is a handy utility in music of any era. An equally handy utility would be earplugs when strolling in a park or lighting a campfire.

The modern, orchestral harp has pedals which change the pitch of the strings, allowing for all of the chromatic pitches of Western music to be played by the instrument. This pedaled harp is also called the “double-action harp”, in reference to the two notches on each pedal, allowing for the pitch of the strings to be raised by a semitone or a whole tone. 

The harp was often found in early 17^th Century orchestras as a member of the basso continuo section, after which it went off in a huff and fell into mild obscurity until the 19^th century, when it made a comeback in a more satisfying, soloistic role. Harp music is often associated with pastoral or dream scenarios. Its gentle sound can be heard illustrating flashbacks in many films, or setting a warm bucolic scene in a ballet. Do not be fooled by the puppy sweaters and kitten mugs, however. Harpists are basically flautists with a mini-van.

The strings of the harpsichord are plucked with a plectrum/quill, creating a sound that was once described by Sir Thomas Beechum as “like two skeletons copulating on a tin roof.”

There are lots of different kinds of harpsichords. Spinets, virginals and clavichords tend to be small, quiet versions of the instrument, often with strings that lie parallel to or at a 90˚angle to the keyboard. The smaller variants are used as practice instruments, as their muffled sneezes are easier to hide from the neighbours. Early harpsichords were developed in 15^th century Flanders – essentially psalteries with keyboards stuck on with tape. By 1500, most harpsichord making was in Italy, but in the 17^th century, harpsichords were being made and interpreted in every European country.Concert harpsichords with complex plucking mechanisms, strung forward from the tuning pin over the soundboard are what we see coughing and spluttering their way through historically informed performances today.

18^th century harpsichords were differentiated by nation (Italian, Flemish, French, German), each having its signature string length, number of manuals and keys, number of strings per choir, stoppers and buffers. Generally, a double harpsichord has two manuals (keyboards) and a single has one.Since keyboard instruments can cover a large range and fill in both melody and harmony, harpsichords are used as continuo instruments in chamber, orchestral and vocal music as well as fulfilling solo duties.The role of the harpsichord remains as varied as the instruments themselves, though it saw its hay-day in the 18^th century (after which it promptly took an antihistamine and lay down.)

There are many types of lute, but most Renaissance lutes are five or six course instruments, tuned in fourths and thirds. Though they were originally played with a plectrum, Renaissance Europeans began plucking the strings with their bare, torn, savage fingers.

Lutenists in the 16^th century asked themselves: “If less is more, I wonder how much more MORE would be?”And so, lutes took on more and more courses.Seven, eight, ten and eleven course lutes became popular, allowing greater range and further butchery.By the 17^th century, Italian lute makers realised that they couldn’t possibly add more strings unless they extended the neck of the instrument.The archlute came into vogue, flashing its long neck and vulgar bass extension, until it was outmoded by an even bigger instrument. The theorbo was larger, richer and deeper than the lutes that came before it, some courses tuned a whole octave below the archlute. If you think being “accidentally” smacked in the head by one of these unwieldy beasts doesn’t hurt, you are wrong. Archlutes and theorbos on stage or in the orchestra pit: Sheer carnage.

Because of their range and ability to cover several melodic and harmonic lines at once, lutes are often found accompanying solo voices or elaborating on continuo lines in a peaceful chamber music habitat.Careful – that is how they scope out their victims.Lute Week is akin to Shark Week on the Discovery Channel.

Known primarily as an Appalachian folk instrument from the 19^th century, the use of the saw became fashionable in Vaudeville shows of the 1920s. It garnered widespread popularity in the 20^th century (please take this with a grain of salt) and can now be heard in Chinese and Russian folk songs.Most historical references to the musical saw are about the fact that one can learn to play the instrument very quickly. Because it is a saw.

Like the hurdy-gurdy, the sound of the strings of a Nyckelharpa is stopped and changed by tangents which are activated by depressing keys with the left hand.In this sense, the Nyckelharpa bears some genetic resemblance to the Accordion, and both families could not be more proud. However, while the Accordion is an aerophone (the sound is created by air travelling through the reeds), the Hurdy-Gurdy and the Nyckelharpa are chordophones (the sound is created by vibrating strings.) The oldest known Nyckelharpas take two forms – one with a flat, elongated guitar-like body and the other with a pear-shaped body sculpted in one piece with the neck.The modern version of the instrument, created by August Bohlin in 1923, is like a stretched violin.It has 16 strings – three for bowing the melody, one for the drone and twelve sympathetic strings that vibrate to create the loud harmonic resonance. It is played with a bow that is highly arched at the tip and tapers toward the frog.

A revival of Nyckelharpa music and technique in the hazy, hippie days of the 1970s has led to World Championships of Nyckelharpa Playing and the Nyckelharpa being used in music other than traditional Nordic tunes.

Bear in mind that the same combination of snow and bohemians created ski ballet.

Oboes are only very slightly less piercing, loud shrieking things, powerful enough to be heard above a tuning orchestra.

The word oboe comes from haut-bois (high wood, or oh, boy) and the instrument was the first reed to be included in the orchestra. During the Baroque period, French composers began to integrate an early version of the oboe in ensemble settings.Oboists were instantly peeved and dark blue.The Baroque oboe has open holes and only a couple of keys, is often made of boxwood and was developed by Jean Hotteterre.The nasal, waspish sound was a big hit, and oboes continued to prosper through the Classical and Romantic eras, gaining keys and eventually being made from a hardier, black wood called grenadilla.This sounds like it would make playing easier and more comfortable, but oboists still don’t look happy about it.

Oboes are usually solo or obligato melodic instruments, or at least one-on-a-part instruments in an orchestra.Two oboes playing the same part causes further annoyance to the players, and oboists are prickly enough already. Let’s not test them.

This setting means that musicians frequently have to pretend not to understand the double entendres inherent to having an enormous instrument called an organ blasting hymns called “Come, thou fount of every blessing.”

Most people are familiar with massive church organs with ranks and ranks of pipes, multiple manuals, rows of stops and literal bells and whistles. These are equipped with a separated console, complete with a series of foot pedals that control the largest, deepest pipes.This type of organ takes the physical and sonic space of an entire orchestra, and is best remembered for the macabre opening notes of Bach Toccata and Fugue in d minor.

In intimate concert settings, however, we are more likely to see a portatif organ.This has the pipes or reeds and console all contained in one manageable box, and is, as advertised, portable. I think we can all agree that while size matters, so does comfort.This instrument has decidedly less power than its gargantuan brother, but is certainly more convenient and docile for continuo in chamber music performances of the music of, say, John Blow.Or Claude Balbastre.Heheheh.

Some instruments are wood, some are brass, some have membranes and some have strings. All in all, percussionists are jacks-of-all-trades who are expected to pick up any object and make it go. This is not as simple as it looks – there is rhythmic accuracy, melodic accuracy, volume, resonance and technique to take into account. Percussionists may have started as kids with pots and spoons, but a lot goes into the skill-set of a modern percussionist. And they have to replace their pots and spoons more frequently than the rest of us do.

Since the concept of percussion boils down to simply hitting something to make sound, it is impossible to date the earliest use of this musical technique. It is likely that it dates back to early humankind – perhaps to extinct early hominids or even to early and modern apes. There is certainly evidence of drums, bells and other percussion being used in ancient wars and religious orders. Because of the many faces of percussion, it can be used as part of the rhythm section, part of the melodic line or even as sound effects in modern or dramatic works. 

Harpsichords and pianos have their shape and keyboard in common, but while the keys on a harpsichord lead to the strings being plucked gently by a controlled quill plectrum (likening its sound to that of a lute or guitar), the fortepiano created by Cristofori is a member of the percussion family. Why? Because “percussion” entails any instrument that is struck to make sound. Inside the inner workings of the piano (which developed from the fortepiano), the keys set in action a series of hammers which strike the strings, creating the familiar sound of the opening chords of Journey’s Don’t Stop Believin’. The piano has principally been used as a solo instrument or a solo line in a larger concerto, but recently it has found wider use as an accompanying instrument when large ensembles are unavailable, as its versatility allows for orchestral reductions to be performed by one person. 

The piano (or in earlier generations, the harpsichord) is often the first instrument that a child learns. This is largely because each chromatic scale-tone has a corresponding identifiable key, making it simple to teach rudimentary theory alongside the tuition of piano technique. Modern Grand pianos are still the shape of a harpsichord, and Upright pianos were developed in the early 19^th century for use in smaller spaces. Because pianos are large and heavy, they are usually left in place in concert halls, restaurants, hospital waiting rooms etc. The combination of this and the ubiquity of piano lessons in children lead to the posting of signs such as: “This piano is for our hired pianist only” and “Please no Heart and Soul before 5pm.” 

Some version of the recorder, or flauto dolce, flute a bec, blockflaute, has existed in every civilisation since the history of humankind.The modern recorder is a variant of what was used in Europe during the Renaissance and Baroque periods, when the instrument was widely used in Western traditional and art music. The player blows softly into a whistle mouthpiece, and the notes are altered by closing and opening holes along the shaft of the wooden tube that makes up the body.The four main voice types for modern recorders are descant (soprano), treble (alto), tenor and bass. Although you may be unable to tell when listening to the Grade 4 class, they tune primarily to C and F Majors.

“Recorder” is a strange word, especially now that it can mean so many different things with current technology.The term comes from the role the instrument played as a bardic, minstrel’s instrument.As it is thought to have similarities with the human voice (albeit in some cases the shrieking, skin-crawling human voice), the recorder was used to tell stories and narrate adventures.In most languages, the word for recorder simply means flute, but English took it that one step further.

After its heyday in the Renaissance, the recorder enjoyed the aegis of some great Baroque composers – J. S. Bach and G. P. Telemann to name a few. After that period, it was all downhill for the poor recorder.In the 1930s the German Youth Movement decided that the recorder was simple enough to be a teaching tool for the proletariat. Though a select few virtuoso recorder players maintain the excellence of those Halcyon days, we are now as good as sentenced to the shrill complaints of the plastic dollar-store imitations. In this case it seems you can actually blame the Nazis.

Like other brass instruments, the trombone is played by buzzing the lips in a mouthpiece, thus creating a reed-like vibration which resonates through the metal tubing. The word “trombone” basically means “large trumpet” in Italian, and its melancholic tones were considered to be a symbol of death and the underworld in 17^th and 18^th century composition.  

The main use of trombones before the mid-18^th century was in choirs.Like vocal choirs, they were used primarily for church music, but also gained recognition in theatrical settings where they played multiple roles – doubling vocal lines and branching out in solo obbligato parts. By the mid-19^th century, composers were employing the trombone to reinforce a broad scope of emotional expression in opera and orchestral music.At this point, enough conductors had complained about the overwhelming decibel level of trombones that the military caught on.Trombones became a part of German and American military bands, and large bass and tenor instruments were adopted to underline military combats in stage productions by Richard Wagner. From there, it was only a quick jump to the comical relief of the trombone in marching bands.In only a few hundred short years, the trombone has gone from sombre, imposing Death to a trick involving ducking and standing up at an American High School football game. 

Seventy-six seems like overkill in the big parade.

The viola, as we know it today, is the alto member of the violin family. It tends to have a thick, rich tone, and it bridges the range-gap between the violin and the cello. Unlike the violin, the viola has never had a standardised size, so it can vary greatly in its appearance. Its larger size accounts for the differences in technique between violin and viola, though modern versions of both instruments are bowed and tucked between the chin and shoulder for stability.

Because of the role the viola plays filling in the alto and tenor ranges, it has long been considered unimportant in the string world. This is likely what led to the many hilarious viola jokes we continue to drum up today. Orchestral music often involves the viola playing seventy Gs in a row or something like that. Not stimulating, which may account for the jokes that disparage the intellect of violists. The technique of the viola does, however, take skill, and many composers have written pieces featuring an active and virtuosic viola part. Johann Sebastian Bach himself was a renowned violist, and no one made jokes about him. Speaking of which: Q: What is the difference between first and last desk viola? A: About a semitone. 

Not all violas d’amore have sympathetic strings, though most wish they had.It’s hard for the strings to stay sympathetic to the viola d’amore, because it has clearly lived in its mother’s basement for 350 years, stalking the popular instruments on Facebook.

While there are quite a number of instances of the viola d’amore being featured in major works by major composers (Bach, Vivaldi, Quantz) those events remain more meaningful for the d’amore than they were for the rest of the class. Clearly, the name Viola d’Amore means Viol of Love, which we might think refers to its muted, sensual sound.There is evidence, however, that the name actually derives from Viol of the Moors, alluding to its roots in the Middle East and Islam.Most violas d’amore have a sound hole in the shape of the flaming sword of Mohammed. It basically changed its name from Kevin to Khevynn in the hopes that it would seem sexier and get noticed.

Appearances by the viola d’amore are almost always in a solo, melodic capacity.Its rare emergences are in obligato arias or as a member of a chamber group. This is largely because there would never be a whole section of them, but it only encourages them.The truth is that the viola d’amore suffers from a serious failure to launch.

What we now know as the violin came into being around 1550 in Ferrara, through the patronage of Isabella d’Este. According to the great d’Este family, string instruments represented noble virtues and harmony, while wind instruments represented the ignoble vices of carnal love and violence. This could be due to the architectural perfection creating the acoustics of the violin and the fact that everyone secretly wants to commit crimes against the clarinet.

A wood and horsehair bow is pulled across the strings and creates sound through friction and vibration, which is amplified by the intricate structure of the violin. The highest and therefore whiniest of the members of its family, the violin is often associated with the tune of orchestral and chamber music. Its curved bridge allows the bow to play one string at a time, which makes the horizontal, melodic playing possible. Because of this melodic role that violinists play, violins are sometimes considered to be the celebrities of the string world. Do not make this mistake. An orchestra or a string quartet of only violins would be musically and mentally unbalanced.

Many pieces that were set for bass before that (such as basso buffo roles in Mozart operas) are now commonly performed by baritones, as the voice type allows for more plasticity within the range.

The sound of a baritone voice tends to be lighter in texture than that of a true bass, but less nasal than that of a tenor. In a barbershop quartet, the baritone takes on the same middle-harmony function that a viola takes in an orchestra – which, as we discussed earlier, is less than scintillating. It is believed that most adult human males’ speaking voices fall naturally within the baritone range. For that reason, singers and composers think that baritones don’t need to work very hard, and their range is often shunned in the development of lead operatic roles. Light baritones are thrilled to find the role of Pollux in Rameau’s Castor et Pollux, and heavy baritones (a term sometimes deemed rhetorical) can take solace in Wagner’s Wotan.

Sopranos are suitably intimidated by mezzos, and countertenors know that their employment is in peril when a mezzo is around.

Prior to the 19^th century, many of the leading roles in operas were composed for male altos, or countertenors. The high register on a man was considered to be dreamy and manly, but the same register on a woman was thought to lack power and denote old age, so there were very few parts for low-voiced women.Once women were permitted to take the stage in more forceful roles, mezzos began to take the parts of the heroic men, in what were known as “travesty” (cross-dressing) portrayals.

Then, along came Verdi, who saw the busty, full-voiced singers for the powerhouses they were and began to compose mezzo and contralto arias for strong, robust women.These were pieces for meat-eating, farm-raised specimens and he set the stage for other composers to follow suit. Mezzos now tackle the music of early composers that was meant for male altos, Bel Canto compositions, weighty operatic roles, travesty parts, art-song cycles and everything in between. Do not mess with a mezzo-soprano.She has breeches, and she knows how to use them.

Sopranos have a reputation for being precious, not very bright and unsupportive of their colleagues, which is where we get modern terminology such as Prima Donna. Like violists, sopranos are the butt of many jokes. For instance, Q: How many sopranos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Three. One to screw it in, one to kick the chair out from under her and the other to say “that was too high for her, anyway.”

There is more than one classification of soprano. The choral soprano has a light, blendable sound that works well in conjunction with other voices, and this person generally sings the tune of any given piece. The coloratura soprano is known for doing high, quick and light passage work. The lyric soprano is known for her mid-range and expressive, warm tone. Dramatic sopranos usually have very wide vibrato and heavy production, and are used in theatrical roles such as Wagner operas. Q: How do you know a soprano is at your door? A: She can’t find the key and doesn’t know when to come in.

Much of early music employed countertenor (a high, falsetto male alto voice) or even haute-contre (slightly lower than the countertenor, but still a falsetto male voice) as the middle lines of choral music, and in noble solo parts.Tenors, as we know them today, were delegated to the cantus firmus, singing the slow, unembellished tune, or filling in middle harmonies like the viola of the choir.This may be the origin of the phrase “That’s a tenor I wouldn’t give you two fives for.”

It has long been believed that the tenor range is not a terribly natural placement for human voice – too high to be sung without screeching, too low to be in falsetto.Somewhat feeble, if you will. In the Baroque era, Handel would throw tenors a bone every once in a while, occasionally writing a title role for the tenor voice. Classical composers kept that up, probably writing pieces and characters for specific singers.

In the Romantic era, vocal technique began to be developed as a physical science.This allowed for tenors to reach higher, shoutier peaks, using head voice without using falsetto.That is when the tenor hit its stride.Suddenly, the little bearded, men with lifts in their shoes were playing dramatic heroes like Samson and Siegfried, belting out tales of love and woe to taller, older, heavier sopranos. We now divide tenor voices into categories: Lyric tenors have warm, narrative voices, close-cropped beards and toupees; Spinto tenors have brightness and spin, close-cropped beards and toupees; Heldentenors have heavy, dramatic voices, close-cropped beards and toupees.They’re little, but they’re feisty.